A day from blues to dark.

Today writing is to my people who just lost somebody.
I remember my parent told me that you never never use a word BYE to people who you care.
I ask:"why?"
Mama said "bye means you want to tell that people when he or she want to leave you forever."
Me:" Then what should I say for people when we want to leave for temporary?"
Mama: " Kiddo use this "See you" It was much more better. It is the words with promise, "See you" mean we'll meet again."
Start from that day, I never said bye............Even I said, but I din't meant it.
I had already used Bye for two people, two of them left me is because an accident.
Say bye was the hardest thing to do.
Until early in the midnight, Saturday twenty two October . One of my friend left again. 
This friend left in a very very bad way.
When I heard this from my friend Roxane. Serious I never knew I could hurt like this and asking why? again.
After sad Anger came, why you just want to leave like this, I treat you as my best brother ever.
Angry not because you leaving, is because the way you leaving.
You turn to become such a disappointment to me.
You don't even give me a chance say "see you brother".
Why you want to left me a message via Facebook? Do you know it seriously meaningless.
You really bad bad and bad which use this way to leave.
I sad, but I still have to move on to class.
Before the class I tell myself that it will become an issue that talk around friends.
When I reach the class, what I told myself, what was happened.
They all hanging with the blues face,  but I still keep smiling all the time.
What I know my smiling all is pretending and acting.
I hurt and I know Roxane should know I'm pretending.
Weird that I'm not sad right? Roxane.... 
My friend that left me yesterday, what I can say is you are the best brother ever to me.
You help me much that I don't know how to pay you back.
I always with you and miss you.
I wish nothing but the best with you.
You are my brother forever. I wish you don't forget me. I'll remember you.
See you brother.
Why I like to drunk?? Now you know why I should drunk? Hard time everyday happened to me.
What I can do is drink, sleep, dream, wake up, keep work, pretend, act.
That is.......my story here comes to the end.